I'm Indie. 27, living in New Zealand, married to a Kiwi, living under our own roof. I work in Insurance (which pays the bills but doesn't set my world on fire), and have a small handful of close friends...which is just the way I like it.
We also have a cat. Like most crazy cat ladies - I'm obsessed with him.
I've started to feel a little lost in my journey of life. I know I'm not the only twentysomething-nearing thirty feeling this way, so hopefully this blog will help someone down the track. I am also hoping that getting my thoughts and feelings out on virtual paper will help me along the way.
I know I am in a very fortunate position in life. I have a husband, a cat, a home, a job and food in the cupboards, but I can't help but feel like something is missing.
I am stuck on the hamster wheel of life, going round and round in my daily routine of 'get up, go to work, do work, come home, watch the telly, go to bed - repeat'. As I mentioned above, my work doesn't set my world on fire, so it's quite a boring old routine I have found myself in.
I used to walk a lot - around the neighbourhood, in the bush, go for a little jog (always 'little' because I'm just not built to run) but I have found that I don't have the energy or motivation to exercise any more. I don't have the determination to put my trainers on and just walk. I have never walked because I love to walk. I've walked because I've told myself I must exercise or I will get fatter and fatter and eventually die of heart disease if I didn't. I've also joined multiple gyms over the years but I never went for pleasure. In fact I hated it while I was there but left feeling marginally better about myself and that I just 'earned' the Kit-Kat I was about to eat.
I went swimming recently to a nearby outdoor lane pool. Being a water baby, I really enjoyed it. For the first three lengths. The truth is, I'm not the most co-ordinated swimmer.. I can't do freestyle with my head underwater so I look like I'm drowning when I swim and gasp for breath. And then it's the faff of swimming costumes, swimming caps, goggles that steam up, having to lug your whole bathroom vanity around with you so you can have a shower afterwards (don't get my started on public bathrooms and shower facilities). It all just seems too much hard work. That said, I do love to swim and be in the water.
You might suggest I try a social sports team. I'm more of a 'let myself down rather than a larger team' kinda girl. I don't like other people to depend on me on that front. I might not fancy it last minute and not want to go. I might be rubbish (I've always been rubbish at team sports), I'll have to socialise with strangers and force conversation. I'm just not that person.
I've started thinking about hobbies. I don't do anything. I don't have a special skill. I can't draw, paint, knit, sew, ride a horse, DIY, speak any other languages. Maybe I'm feeling lost because I need to up-skill. Have you ever played The Sims? If you don't up-skill your Sim, they live a miserable, unfulfilled life. I used to make my Sim stand by the oven for days on end improving their cooking skill, or sit at the piano, stand at the easel, play non-stop chess. I don't even make an attempt to improve my own skills. I suppose I can't compare myself to the Sims I used to create. When I got bored of them, I used to build a brick wall around them and wait for them to die.
So, after chatting/sobbing to my husband about my 'what is my purpose in life?' dilemma last night, we searched local courses that I could try. My first pick was pottery club. I love the idea of getting my hands around the slimy muddy clay while it spins on a wheel, effortlessly making the most hipster shabby-chic collection of mugs. I contacted a couple of local places and it looks like the next beginners course is in April. Damnit. Still - something to look forward to and keep researching in the meantime.
We also looked up drawing courses. If any of my friends or family read this, they'll probably snort at the idea of me doing a drawing course. I can barely put a stickman together. But, that's the point. I have searched for complete beginners drawing courses and found some brilliant looking online courses. The type where all you need is a pad of paper and a pencil (and a sharper which I did note they didn't mention), and learn to draw squares, cubes, triangles, pyramids, lines and curves. When you've got basic shapes down - it's onto the next level.
You better know I signed up to that straight away. I am going to do my first session tonight. I've already thought about selling my pieces on TradeMe and making an absolute fortune and being able to quit my job and travel the world and retire early because of all the money I've made with my craft.
My husband also suggested learning a new language. While it isn't hands-on-DIY-practical-learning, I haven't ruled it out yet. I love the idea of learning to speak Italian - not only because it sounds beautiful, but also so that I can learn to correctly pronounce Gnocchi (is it Nyocchi or knock-y?) and Prosciutto (prushuto?) correctly...I'll keep you posted on that.
Other considerations have included a knitting class, a sewing class, volunteering at the local shelter (application pending), volunteering at an old folks home (doing jigsaws with them - having a nice chat and a cup of tea - that sort of thing), learning to take a good photo, and, well - starting this blog.
I feel quite excited about the opportunities I am opening myself up to by going to courses and trying new things. I really hope I can learn a thing or two - but mainly it's a great way to spice life up a little.
Stay tuned to see my beautiful day 1 drawing course sketches!
Until next time...
Indie x
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